


CroTuna Drabbles

by CronutsAmpora



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drabble Collection, Humanstuck, M/M, mentions of mitula, mentions of pormara, mentions of pornus, no homo stuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:40:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CronutsAmpora/pseuds/CronutsAmpora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random CroTuna Drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Skinny Dipping

"What the fucking thit are you fucking doing you cuntheak?"

You ignored him as your belt joined your shirt in a pile. Your jeans and boxers soon followed after. He shouted at you while you stood in your full glory.

"PUT THOTHE BACK ON."

"You dared me to, Tune."

"I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO IT!"

You laughed in his face and put a hand on your hip.

"Oh, come on, Tune, I think you're just a scaredy cat."

"Am not."

"I bet you aren't rad enough to join me."

"Hey! What ith-"

You didn't let him finish as you ran down the pier and leaped off the end with a shout and cannonballed into the icy-cold water.

Holy shit. Holy motherfucking shit. This water was so goddamned cold. Oh god, this was a terrible idea. Your balls are frozen as well as the rest of you.

When you rose to the top, you had a cocky smile on and waved to Mituna. He looked back at you like you were absolutely nuts.

"A-Are you going to join m-me? The vwater is, uh, f-fine."

"Are you fucking theriouth? No!"

"You're a ch-chicken."

"You're going to get thick."

"Bock bock! Ba-gock! Chicken!" God, you are so fucking cold, but you are slowly getting numbed by the water. You are laughing and keeping yourself suspended in the water.

When he sneered at you and walked away, you started to swim towards the pier again, going to start apologizing for calling one of your only friends names until they just got fed up with you. Fuck, what is wrong with-

The next thing you knew, there was the yell of 'BANTHAI' and a wave of water splashed over you.

The stuttered, lisped insults and curses thrown your way as soon as he surfaced was the best thing to ever happen to you. You laughed and laughed so hard as he tried to keep afloat and shivered.

"I-I'm going to f-fucking k-kill you, Am-Ampora."

"Vwhy? the vwater is fiiiiine."

"I-I can't feel m-my nadth, oh my fuck, you killed my dick. I wath thinking about getting thome tonight!"

You almost choke on your laughter, shivering as you just made fun of him entirely. Mostly the fact that he believed you and was now freezing in ice-cold water just like you. You splash at him and watch as he squeaks and yells at you for that too.

"Thtop! Oh my g-god, I hate you tho m-much right now."

Before you could make a snippy comeback, he splashes you and starts cursing you out. You start laughing again, God, he's fucking so cute when he's furious at you. You wait until he stops to clutch himself and start shivering before you splash him back until he joins in.

A good five minutes later, you both are absolutely frozen cold and shaking all over. You couldn't make fun of each other anymore. You were numb and wanted to go back inside and curl up in warm sheets. You tried to warm up your hands, but it wasn't helping one bit.

He swum closer to you and trembled, his lanky body as white as paper, his lips blue, and his eartips and nose red. You took one of his hands and tugged him close, attempting to share some body heat with him while you swum easily to the ladder that lead to the pier. You could've sworn that he would've started to yell at you for touching him, but this shit was used to being warm as fuck while he skateboards in the scorching heat or playing video games until his hands almost ignite.

You keep him close and snort that he was cold, earning a hard poke to the ribs. Just before you get to the ladder, you talk him softly," Hey, tune?"

"Yeth, I'm thill alive, I think I'm white and blue all over, but I'm alive."

"Not vwhat I vwas going to ask."

"Thpit it out then, but after we get out of the water."

"Tune, I-"

You feel a hand snagging your hair and dragging your face down, lips meeting your's roughly and you almost sink right then and there. After a little bit, it's gone and you are stupefied for a second or two.

"I'm fucking freething, get me out of the damn water."

"Y-yeah, sure thing."

A few minutes later of swimming and dripping and trembling and grabbing later, you are doing the best thing you could have ever imagined in your life, you were making out with Mituna Captor. You both were freezing and clutching to each other as the only warm thing in the world, kissing and kissing each other like you never would kiss anyone again. He's got your pressed down onto the dock, your fingers buried in his hair and your heart is going a mile a minute. He's shivering a bit and so are you, but it doesn't matter. You face is blazing and you aren't letting him go for a second.

His mouth was warm and soft against your's and you clutch at him, trying to press closer and closer. Your chest and your head felt like they were about to explode but you sincerely could not give a shit right now. Your body felt so fucking hot and you were kissing and kissing and kissing him, getting lightheaded and it was perfect.

When you both broke away, you were panting hard and so was he, but your heart almost broke at his next few words.

"Don't you dare fucking tell anyone."

Then he kissed you again, fixing it almost instantly.


	2. No Homo, My Bromo

"I lovwe you."

You had ended up just staring at your best friend, unable to really think or speak. What? Was he really doing this? Wait, you both were just talking about Legend of Zelda.

His face went from being really excited to horrified in just seconds. It was almost as if he couldn't believe he had said that. His hands had clamped over his mouth as choked and tried to babble apologies. His face grew obscenely red and he got up before dashing out, looking sick to his stomach and absolutely terrified.

You were honestly too stunned to even make a comment of any kind, and just watched him run away. Seriously, what were you supposed to even do anyways? You slowly picked up your game and started playing it again, I mean, Ganondorf wasn't going to defeat himself after all, right?

Cronus wasn't at school for the rest of the week, and as far as you knew, he didn't answer any phone calls or texts.

You wouldn't know first-hand, though.

You didn't try to contact him.

When he came back, the very first thing he said to you was, "Uh, you knowv I meant to say 'No homo', right? I mean, you get it, right, bro?"

You had laughed it off and fist-bumped him, smirking and going on with our everyday lives. He flirted with one of the cheerleaders who almost smacked him and you bumped boards with the skater chick who winked at you last week.

A month later, Cronus was at your place again, his arm around your shoulders as he talked with you about which cheerleaders are hot and which ones should join chess club or do a sport with a mask. You were laughing and agreeing with him until he changed the subject and informed you that you had the best ass he's ever seen. No homo, of course.

You snorted and told him that at least someone liked your ass. I mean, your girlfriend didn't even like it. She said it was far too flat and there was absolutely nothing to grab at all.

Cronus proceeded to compliment your ass, every once in a while making sure to say 'no homo' during it, so it was totally ok, you know. I mean, thank god there's no homo in any of this.

A few weeks later, you were sitting on his lap, your arms around his neck, mouth on his. You had been talking about your girlfriends, comparing them. You told him that Latula had a better chest than Porrim and he snorted, saying that it just meant Porrim can go braless, unlike your girlfriend.

"Thee probably burnth them or thomething, I mean, thee'th all into that feminithm thit," you joked.

"I'm not complaining about it, to be honest, Mit, I think it's great. If she's into it, I'm into it. Frig, I mean, she also is into girls."

"Lucky fucking bathtard!"

"I knowv, right? She was kissing that hot foreign babe at her house party last vweekend, then told me it's better than kissing boys. Vwho says that to their boyfriend?"

"Porrim."

He tossed his travel-sized hairgel when I started laughing at him, "Vwhat's vwrong vwith kissing hot studs like me anywvays?"

"Vwell, there ith your fathe… But, I bet you can't tell the differenthe between dudeth and chick lipth. Wanna try it? I mean, no homo, right, dude?"

It took him a minute, his ears getting a shade of red before he nodded, "Yeah… No homo."

He was a little awkward with it, and so were you, but, when your mouths touched, he got pretty enthusiastic about it, cupping your cheek and the whole nine yards. Your eyes were open, but his were closed and you never noticed how long his eyelashes were before this.

You both finally broke after who knows how long and his voice cracked a bit as he spoke, "I couldn't tell…. No homo so vwe can try again?"

You agreed and you're not even sure how you ended up on his lap with his hands on your hips, but it was happening. As you both really get into it you realize that you both might have to wear turtlenecks for a bit if you don't want the girls to find out, and something deep in your gut tells you that this may not be the last time.


End file.
